


All These Things That I Have Done

by captnsunshine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captnsunshine/pseuds/captnsunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel are two masked vigilantes, both of which were once sidekicks to Batman. Dean is the black sheep of the vigilante "family," especially after being killed and then resurrected by unknown means. He now prefers to take the law into his own hands, killing the criminals that inhabit the city rather than allowing the justice system to do it's job. This doesn't bode well with Batman or the rest of the vigilante community, but disapproval from his "family" and the local police is the least of Dean's worries, not when Gotham is under siege and secrets from his past are coming back to bite him the ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This AU is sort of loosely based off of characters and plot from the Batman universe. I basically stick various characters into various roles and run with it. 
> 
> Not all the roles that each character is stuck into directly mirror one another. For instance, Dean Winchester is being fit into the role of Jason Todd, but his background and history will not necessarily be the same. His death and resurrection are obviously similar but numerous things will be altered and changed. 
> 
> If you know nothing about the Batman universe and are just here for the DeanCas then don't worry about any of this and enjoy! Unbeta'd for now. All mistakes are mine.

Dean jumps from rooftop to rooftop, combat boots slamming down hard against the ground beneath his feet with a low thud. His breath is labored, but barely so, and he doesn't make any move to repress the wide smirk he has on underneath his sleek red helmet. He looks over his shoulder to see Cas hot on his heels and that really does a good job of getting his blood pumping. He almost trips as he watches the the older man leap and fly through the air after him, but manages to balance himself just as he coasts to a stop on the ledge that overlooks the building he'd been racing Cas to. He reaches into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and pulls out the detonator he'd tucked inside earlier. He thumbs over the button slowly and waits for Cas to catch up.

"Seems like you're losing your touch, big bird," Dean huffs in amusement. Of course, its a total lie. Cas is as agile and graceful as he's ever been. He’s also probably in a hell of a lot better shape than Dean is, if the extra softness around his stomach is anything to go by, but that's besides the point. 

Dean likes pushing Cas's buttons, always has, ever since John took him in and he started training with them both as Batman’s second sidekick. Bugging Cas has sort of become a hobby of Dean's since coming back to Gotham, but truthfully, it isn’t as if this is new. Dean’s always done this with Cas, even when everything wasn’t so sinister and dark like they are now. This thing between them was far more innocent back then, fueled more by insecurity and arrogance rather than snark and strategy. Dean’s just picking up where they left off, with a hell of a lot more innuendo, and maybe even some lawbreaking. Okay, plenty of lawbreaking.

Dean has found that the longer they keep at it, the surprisingly easier it gets to work his way under Cas’s skin. It used to be a lot harder. Cas was almost impossible to crack, even getting him to smile was like pulling teeth and he never got Dean’s jokes or responded to his shy flirting, but now Dean can seem to do it in under five minutes if he tries hard enough and oh does he try.

Dean laughs as Cas lands a few yards away, eyes narrowed to slits beneath his domino mask and pointedly focused on the device in his hand. He looks annoyed and Dean mentally pats himself on the back, because that means he’s doing his job. 

"Don't even think about it," Cas warns in that low gravelly baritone that Dean sometimes thinks about at night when it’s just him and the shitty water pressure in his shower. The older masked vigilante has starred in quite a number of different fantasies that Dean’s had, especially back when his hormones were out of control and he was still donning the Robin costume. It didn’t help -- and it still doesn’t -- that Cas wears that tight ass suit when he’s fighting crime under his Nightwing persona. He’s not kidding either when he says tight ass, because that’s exactly what Cas has got. Hey, its not like he and Cas are actually brothers, not by blood anyway. 

The both of them were just adopted by the rich millionaire, John Winchester, who just so happens to double as the infamous Batman in his spare time. They were also both turned into teenaged sidekicks to the self righteous same hero, which is something Dean doesn’t like to spend much time thinking about anyway due to the fact that the subject only manages to piss him off when he does. Why John hasn’t learned his lesson about kids being in the field and stopped training them to fight at his side all together is beyond Dean’s comprehension. His stint as boy wonder obviously ended badly, dead at the age of sixteen doesn’t exactly scream success story, and now John has two more that he’s put in harms way. Not that Dean cares, because he doesn’t, but deep down, in a place he doesn’t ever like to ever acknowledge, he can’t deny that his replacement and the new kid (Kevin he thinks his name is?) deserve better than that. Any kid would.

Dean waggles his eyebrows at Cas, wolf whistle blowing past his lips as he gives him a once over and leers at him mockingly.

"Ooh. Someone's got their bossy tights on tonight. Shame I don't do well with authority," Cas seems to straighten up further at that and he squints at Dean in what seems to be aggravation.

"If you press that button I won't hesitate to call the police and you will be locked up in Arkham," Cas threatens, voice steady and sure. This time Dean’s the one who rolls his eyes. 

"I'm quaking in my boots over here, bluebird," Dean's retorts easily, clearly not perturbed by Cas's threats as he rocks back on the balls of his feet. It’s not like he doesn’t think Cas will call Commissioner Singer to come try and arrest him. Dean is sure that’s exactly what Cas will do, but Dean is comfortable with the knowledge that there’s a very slim chance that even the best of Bobby Singer’s men would be able to catch him.

"I'm not kidding, Red," Cas replies, stance tense while he waits for Dean to make his decision, but there’s something different in the tone of Cas’s voice. The nickname doesn’t seem quite right in Cas’s mouth. Its too short and curt, not that he should be expecting any different, but it just seems... wrong. He kind of misses the way Cas used to call him ‘little wing’ but there’s no way in Hell he’ll ever admit to it. That’ll go with him to his fucking grave, again. 

"Anyone ever tell you what a buzzkill, you are?" Dean teases and for second there it almost feels like old times, back when Cas was taking the time to train Dean to be the next boy wonder so he could move on to Gotham’s sister city with a clear conscious. Dean’s reminded of the innocent touches, the movie nights, the marathon sparring matches, the family photos and all the things he and Cas used to do before Lucifer took Dean away from all of that. 

"Several times," Cas retorts dryly, but Dean thinks there just might be the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

"Why does that not surprise me?" Dean chuckles and grins, though Cas can’t see it underneath his helmet. There’s a beat of silence between them, filled with nothing but the distant sounds of the city and their respective breathing. 

“Is this really worth going to prison for?” Cas eventually asks, any trace of a smile gone and replaced by that righteous holier than thou shtick that Cas is known for which is also accompanied by that grating look of concern that Cas gets when he cares about something he most definitely shouldn’t, because his heart is too fucking big for his own good. Dean is still technically on the opposing side. John has already labeled him an outlaw, just as the rest of Gotham has despite his attempts to save her through his methods. He’s also given the order for Sam, Cas and Kevin to keep from making any kind of contact with Dean and yet here is Cas trying to 'get through to him.' Typical fucking Cas. He’s always been a sucker for the lost causes. 

The sound of his own laugh dies off in Dean’s throat as he glances back toward the warehouse that he's currently got on his ‘to blow the fuck up’ list. The next one is a meth lab across town. He may enjoy these cat and mouse games he and Cas play almost every night while they're on patrol, testing each other's limits and running after each other from the end of Gotham and back, but this isn't part of the game. 

"Those asshats down there sold some of that new up and coming, untested drug to some kids downtown. They all overdosed. Found a girl's body in crime alley this morning and she tested positive for it," He grits his teeth and clenches his fist at his side as he tells this to Cas. 

Dean doesn't mention that she had brown hair just like his mom did or that finding her nearly made him chuck up his breakfast and see red. He doesn't tell Cas about how he shuddered almost as violently as he does every night when he wakes up from a nightmare, panting and gasping with the smell of dirt and blood filling his nose. Nobody knows about that, especially not Cas or any of the batbrats and sure as hell not John. No, they don’t get to know that or revel in his pain. 

To all of them he's just some psychopath who murders people for fun. He knows they'll never understand that what he does isn't murder, not when the victims are complete scumbags and human traffickers. He brushes his finger over the detonator, there’s not enough pressure put on to trigger it, but its just enough to get Cas coming closer.

“It's not your place to punish them for what they've done,” he tells Dean as he stops a few yards away from him. 

“Well if I don't do it, who will?” Dean laughs, but its cold and bitter even to his own ears. He tries to remember if it was this bad before. If he had this bitterness about him even before he was murdered, but he thinks that this is new-founded and something close to a twisted welcome home gift. Something that Lucifer is probably laughing about right now, no doubt, in the depths of his cell in Arkham Asylum.

Sure, Dean was angry, about almost everything back then; injustice, his felon of a father, his dead mother, the state of Gotham, but it never was like this. When he was still running with John and fighting crime at his side, there were times he felt like he might explode. That feeling was usually reserved for when they stumbled upon kids and women who had been the victims of Michael Dent or Lucifer and his crazy girlfriend Meg, but back then it wasn’t something that stuck with him. After everything was said and done, he’d still be mad, but he could eventually let it go. Now, his rage is almost like a constant and steady thrumming in his veins that just won’t subside once it’s tapped into. It just keeps burning and burning until Dean feels like there’s nothing left.

“Its not like you or Batman have the balls to do it. We all know daddy bats has got a track record for letting garbage like them roam free,” Dean says through clenched teeth as he tries to count to ten backwards to calm himself down. 

Dean expects Cas to avert his eyes, to look away from him like a coward and try to justify the reason why the revered and highly respected Batman still allows Lucifer to continue breathing. A man who has killed graveyards upon graveyards of people, including his own adopted son just for kicks, only to be locked up in Arkham to wait until his next opportunity for escape, which always comes without fail. 

Wasn’t it just a few months prior that Dean tried to clean up John’s mess? Dean attempted to finally kill the man who murdered him in cold blood and who crippled Jo just before that. His attempt was thwarted by John, Batman himself, and he nearly died in the process. On top of Lucifer surviving Dean’s revenge attempt, Dean had to live with the knowledge that John was willing to choose Dean’s executioner over him. The scar where John’s batarang hit his neck is a painful reminder of just that. 

Dean waits for Cas to come to John’s rescue with some kind of grand speech about love and morality, just so he can spit out the sharp barb sitting on the tip of his tongue, but it doesn’t come and Cas remains silent. 

Dean still feels it though, that anger that he carries with him almost everywhere he goes. The rage that he's been harboring ever since he crawled out of his grave and realized his mentor and adopted father had not only replaced him with a brand new boy wonder, but also let the asshole who had tortured and killed him keep wasting air. 

He sucks in a few deep breaths to try and bring himself down. He can't afford to be angry right now. It makes him sloppy and he'd much rather spend the night in his shitty apartment than in a cell in Arkham. His place ain’t exactly the Hilton, but he’s damn sure his creaky mattress is better than the shitty cot he’d be sleeping on otherwise.

“De--” Cas starts to say his name in a way Dean hasn’t heard in some time and take a few steps closer, but Dean draws his hand back and shakes a gloved finger at him.

“Ah ah ah. No names in the field, _Nightwing_.” Dean tsks and chastises Cas, forced grin spreading at Cas’s slip up as he taunts the other masked vigilante. Code names have always been important. They’re especially important in Dean’s case due to the fact that he’s legally been pronounced dead. He can’t have Commissioner Singer or anyone for that matter suddenly finding out that Dean apparently didn’t die in that bombing overseas like John originally claimed and that he was back from the dead. That tends to draw some questions.

Cas sighs heavily and stops in his tracks again, shoulders tensed and eyes laser focused on Dean in a way that almost makes Dean uncomfortable. That thousand yard stare is yet another thing Cas is known for and somehow Dean always seems to find himself on the receiving end of them. He isn’t ever sure how to feel about it either. 

He forces himself to shake it off and inhales deeply as he preps himself for a quick getaway.

“Say hasta la vista, baby,” Dean sing songs and he can hear the sound of Cas’s breath catching in his throat as their eyes remain locked. 

Dean brings his finger down on the button with a satisfied smirk, waiting for the inevitable boom so he can step off the ledge and land on the dumpster sitting on the ground below. That way he can make his escape before Cas has the chance to pin him down. Although it isn’t as if Dean wouldn’t stick around a few extra minutes if it meant he got to tumble around with Cas for a bit and get a chance to see what exactly he’s packing underneath that skin tight costume. 

His smile fades though and his brows furrow together when the building doesn't immediately go up in smoke. He knows he wired everything correctly. He'd made sure of that and he'd learned his technique from some of the very best, or worst depending on how you looked at it. So that could only mean that…

Just then, Dean sees Sam come striding out of the building, a triumphant smile on his face that makes Dean want to punch something, particularly Cas. Sam looks up at him from the ground, in all his long hair giant-like caped glory, and shrugs at Dean as if to say, what can you do? 

"Son of a bitch," Dean growls in frustration and roughly shoves the now useless detonator back into his jacket. 

“This ain't over,” he murmurs, low and dangerous. His jaw clenches underneath his helmet as he swiftly turns his back to Cas.

He doesn't look over his shoulder to see if Cas has a superior and smug look on his face, the bastard probably does, but he swears right before he steps over the ledge that he hears Cas sigh his name. 

_Dean_.

Dean ignores it, despite the way his chest automatically tightens at the sound. It’s probably his imagination anyway, because its been a very long time since Cas has -- since anyone -- has said his name like that. 

He drops down from the ledge and lets the dumpster break his fall. Then he climbs out of the thing as quickly as he can manage and scowls as he makes a disgusted face and picks a banana peel off of his shoulder. He kicks something that resembles molded food, he hopes, off his boot and represses a sigh before propelling himself over the edge of the dumpster and breaking into a sprint to avoid being tailed back to his safe house. He makes sure to take unnecessary routes and continues changing his direction until he’s sure no one is able to find him or the location of his apartment. The last thing he needs is any of the others knowing where he sleeps at night.

He needs a fucking shower and some leftover tacos. It’s the only way, he’s convinced, that this night will even come close to being salvageable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd, again. I tried.

Castiel watches morosely from the ledge of the building he’s perched on as Dean sprints down the alleyway and disappears out if his line of sight. He tries to recall a time when he actually saw the face underneath that red helmet of Dean's instead of just the line of Dean’s shoulders as he takes off in the opposite direction, but all he can manage to come up with are hazy memories of Dean in his old Robin get up with that carefree grin on his face that he used to wear all the time.  
  
Castiel remembers how spirited and determined Dean had been, to be the best Robin and to save all the people he possibly could at John’s side, but Castiel worried very often about the toll being Robin took on Dean and what it did to him when he was unable to save everyone. It plagued him sometimes between his work with the Blüdhaven police force and his vigilante persona of Nightwing he’d taken up in that same city. He knew it was hard for Dean to deal with things that were out of his control and with the struggles that came with being a teenaged vigilante sidekick, but he also knew that there was no way Dean would have stopped trying to save people, even if he’d known it would inevitably lead to his death.  
  
He’s contemplating going after Dean in that split second, if not just to find out where the man is staying. Dean has a habit of switching safehouses, especially if he suspects someone like Castiel or any of the other members of the “family” might know of his whereabouts.  
  
He values his privacy much more than he ever did as an adolescent and likes to hold his cards close to his chest. An act that he has since reverted back to during his years spent away from Gotham.  
  
Dean has always been a charmer. It was a skill that often kept him alive while he was living on the streets of Gotham and was one of the reasons that John saw potential in Dean to be the next Robin in the first place. From the start, Dean was a little rough around the edges. He had an attitude like neither Castiel or John had ever seen and he was more than a little arrogant, but growing up with the responsibilities of an adult and taking care of his sick mother while his father was off working for a local criminal gave him a right to be. Despite his devil may care attitude anyone who took the time to look hard enough could see that Dean had a heart of absolute gold. He was eager to learn and do whatever it took to be the best boy wonder Gotham had ever seen. He wanted to help people and it often tore him up inside if he and John were unsuccessful in saving someone.  
  
John would usually retreat to the cave and brood as he often did when that happened. He's always much better at hiding his emotions during those moments, even then. Dean would mope around as well and deny any kind of comfort. A habit he picked up from having no one to comfort him as a child and one that was reinforced by the way John would struggle with his own burden in silence. And although Dean would insist that nothing was wrong, his eyes were often a window to the contrary and would give him away even if his face or body did nothing to betray him.  
  
Dean also had a habit of getting angry when upset, kicking stray things and stomping around in a huff. That was usually when Bobby would call Castiel in for a visit. It was difficult at first to get Dean to open up. He'd been taught early on, through his own experiences, that letting people in or trusting too easily only gave them the opportunity to hurt you, but eventually it got easier to talk to Dean when he was troubled.  
  
Bobby often didn't push Dean to share, but always offered a comforting pat on the back and mug of hot chocolate or some other kind of sweet that he knew Dean couldn't resist. It took a while for Castiel to earn Dean's trust and for Dean to quit seeing him as the competition, but over time Dean started to be much more vocal with Castiel than anyone else when it came to problems he was having and Castiel liked it that way. He and Dean weren't far off in age, only a few years apart, and Castiel could relate to Dean in some ways because he'd been where Dean was and he wanted to help.  
  
For a while, Dean let him. Now, years later, Dean is almost as elusive and evasive as John has always been. Although John is far easier to predict due to the amount of time that Castiel has known him while Dean has become much less easy to read due to the time he's been gone.  
  
There are different facets of Dean that Castiel has never seen and at this rate, never will if Dean continues to evade him and everyone else who cares about him. Castiel suspects he’ll run out of places eventually. Gotham is only so big and there are only so many places Dean can hide until he has no where left to run. Not unless he plans to leave the city for good and somehow that makes Castiel’s nearly heart seize up in his chest.  
  
Before he can allow himself to get too worked up about the thought of losing Dean again, Sam starts to talk to him through his commlink.  
  
“ _He gone?_ ”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“ _Was he pissed?_ ” Sam pauses for a moment, seeming to rethink that question before Castiel even has the chance to answer. “ _Why am I even asking? Of course he was pissed._ ” Dean generally isn't very happy when his plans are thwarted, none of them ever are.  
  
“ _Dad’s not going to like this._ ”  
  
“No, I don’t believe he will.” Castiel replies, eyes cast downward. No, John would be furious if they told him.  
  
“ _Maybe we should keep this between us? I mean he didn't actually hurt anyone..._ ” Sam trails off and the words that weren't said hang in the air.  
  
 _This time._  
  
It’s on the tip of Castiel’s tongue, but he doesn't let it slip out. He knows Dean has hurt people before and he knows Dean will again. It’s part of what Dean believes in. Who he might hurt, Castiel isn't sure, but he knows it will happen and he can’t necessarily blame the logic behind it, at least not completely. Even he can admit that it makes sense.  
  
If it were him… he’s not sure he would do it any differently. He’s honestly not sure why he’s doing it differently now. Well, no, he knows why, because anything other than obeying the law when it comes to criminals is barbaric and that’s the opposite of what he wants to be, what John told him is right. He’s had the urge to be violent in his attempts at justice, but he’s managed to keep himself in check despite it. There's another long pause before Castiel speaks again.  
  
“Maybe we should.” The words are uncertain though.  
  
“ _Jesus, Nightwing. Let me get a word in edgewise, would ya?_ ” Sam’s jokes playfully to lighten the mood, but it doesn't last long. “Do we tell him or not? I’m pretty sure he’s busy chasing down Dent with Robin on the other side of town so I don’t think he’ll get wind of this...” Castiel doesn't answer for a few moments as he contemplates that.  
  
“No, don’t tell him. We’ll handle it.”  
  
“ _Okay. See? That wasn't so hard._ ” Sam teases and chuckles. Castiel can’t help but shake his head and fight a smile. Sam, so young, still so good and innocent even with all the goings on in Gotham.  
  
“ _Well, I think I’m going to turn in early tonight. I've uh got a date. Think you might be able to cover patrol on your own for the rest of the night?_ ” Castiel smirks at Sam’s tone. He can practically hear the blush in his voice.  
  
“Of course. Go. Enjoy your date. Tell Jessica I said ‘hello.’”  
  
“ _Will do. See you tomorrow for dinner._ ”  
  
“Goodnight, Red Robin.”  
  
The commlink connection goes silent after Sam's departure and Castiel's finger strokes the off button as he directs another longing look in the direction where Dean disappeared. He could go after him, quit patrolling for the night and don civilian clothes to set out to find where it is Dean is hiding. Only God knows how much he wants to, for more reasons than one, but he can’t. Whether that’s because he doesn’t want to fight, or that he’s worried a fight is exactly what he’s looking for, is up for debate.  
  
Either way, the urge to track Dean down and keep him from running has proved to be a persistent and never ending need since Castiel learned that Dean was alive. They both have things they need to say, but they never get the chance whether its because of Dean's unwillingness to talk or the arrival of John on the scene. They never are able to get a moment before Dean is either fleeing or having it out with their mentor. Verbal arguments which usually always lead to threats of prison or a long stay in Arkham Asylum.  
  
Truth be told, Arkham is the last place on Earth that Castiel wants to see Dean. He needs Dean back home. They all do. John needs him too, despite his incessant and stubborn denial of said fact. Losing Dean was the hardest thing that any of them have ever had to go through. His coming back from the dead was an absolute blessing. It’s what Castiel has been praying for and hoping would happen since the day that he learned of Dean’s death. He'd done everything in his power to try and get Dean back, but he had come to the conclusion after so long, that he’d ever get to see Dean’s face again.  
  
And yet, here Dean is. Back in Gotham, alive and well. Everything should be back to normal, to the way it was before Dean was taken from them, but it’s not. How could it be? When Dean’s been supposedly dead for what they all believed to be almost a decade now? Years of suffering through grief and carrying it with them everywhere they went. Dean may be alive, but he isn't the same. Anyone who paid the slightest bit of attention could see that. They’ve all changed since Dean’s been gone. Each of them has been through different things and done things that they may or may not be proud of, Castiel included.  
  
The years after Dean's death were dark for all of them. John would spend days at a time simply going on patrol and holing up in his bedroom, not even bothering to keep up his playboy millionaire persona with the many "friends" of John Winchester and Winchester Enterprises. Bobby grieved and worried about John incessantly, fearing John would be careless one day as Batman and get himself killed, more so than he usually did. John continued to be visibly miserable, even in the eyes of the public, until he found out that he had a biological son, Sam. Things began to look up for him from there, as much as they could for the Batman.  
  
For Castiel, after the initial shock of losing Dean, there was a fog that fell over him. He went through his days methodically. He felt and still feels guilt over what happened. He wonders if maybe he hadn't left his role as Robin that John wouldn't have felt the need to replace him then Dean would never have become Robin or been killed by Lucifer to begin with.  
  
Of course, this is something that Castiel will never know and while he's never forgotten Dean in his absence, how could anyone forget someone as vibrant and warm and brave as Dean, he never expected he'd ever get the chance to see Dean's face again.  
  
And somehow the time they should be making up for and celebrating Dean's return with is being spent avoiding one another and letting old wounds fester rather than coming together and being a family again. Dean isn't staying at the Winchester manor or even on speaking terms with his adopted father or the rest of their family. John won't even mention Dean's name unless he comes up in an investigation or he's involved with something he's working on. He very rarely acknowledges Dean these days outside of his criminal history and his kill count, yet Dean's old Robin costume remains on display in the Batcave and John has refused to take it down despite everything that has happened since John first put it up.  
  
That gives Castiel the slightest bit of hope, that maybe his family isn't so broken to the point that it can't be repaired with just the right amount of attention and care, but mending bridges is much easier said than done. He isn't sure how he'll be able to get his family back together if one or more of its members has no interest in doing so.  
  
Castiel frowns pensively and lets out a quiet sigh before he feels a cold raindrop hit his forehead and he hears the sound of sirens blaring a couple blocks in the opposite direction. He tucks the commlink into his belt, still turned on and waiting to pick up police radio signals, then runs a hand through his hair before inhaling deeply and dutifully taking off toward the sound of trouble.

As usual, work gets in the way and he's a slave to the job, just like everyone else here in Gotham is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd try Sam's pov here and I'm a big fan of SamJess especially in AUs so there you go. Once again, not beta'd. Never beta'd. Enjoy.

_"Cas, please take this. It belongs to you." Sam begs as he holds up the Robin costume and offers it to the acrobat. Bobby watches silenty from the sidelines as Sam pleads with Castiel desperately._  
  
 _Sam knows that Cas and John had been on the outs. That much had been clear from what Sam had seen in the last two weeks he had been observing both men. He wanted to get some extra background information and some semblance of each of their routines before he introduced himself to his father, otherwise known to the criminals of Gotham as the Batman. He was hoping he'd be able to talk to John and explain to him who exactly he was, but before he got the chance John went out on patrol and recklessly ran head first into some trouble. Not knowing what else to do, Sam had called Cas, in hopes that he would take up his position as Robin again and help John through this._

_"What?" Castiel turns from where he's rolling out one of John's many motorcycles and kicks the stand down to focus his attention on Sam, but when Sam opens his mouth to speak again Cas's gaze zeros in on Sam's hands. It happens so fast that Sam nearly gets whiplash. Castiel suddenly whirls toward him in a fury and snatches the Robin costume from his grip. "Where did you get this?" he demands, his usual stoic demeanor contorted in anger._

_"From the case in the trophy room. I thought--"_

_"No, you didn't think. That's your problem." Castiel growls, hands clutching the costume close._

_"The kid may have a point, Cas. John hasn't exactly been the same since he lost Robin.. a second time." Bobby adds and Cas gives him a pointed look._

_Cas swallows thickly and closes his eyes, Dean's old Robin costume still in hand._

_"Don't you get it? He needs a partner! Somebody out there watching his back! He needs somebody to care about, somebody who cares about him..." Sam insists. He needs to get Cas to see reason, to understand just why he has to step up and become Robin again. If he doesn't Sam's dad will suffer and might just get hurt because of it. He expects Cas to stop and pause for a second, to consider what exactly Sam is saying, but he doesn't expect Cas to turn back and meet his eyes with a hard and haunted look._

_"I've gone through Hell with him and because of him. Don't try and lecture me about him until you've known him and cared about him for as long as I have." Cas tells him fiercely. "The first thing he taught me was to be my own man, not to become a kid all over again. That's the exact opposite of what he'd want."_

_Cas's features get even darker as he swings a leg over the bike he procured and mounts it, turning his back to Bobby and Sam where they stand. His shoulders are tensed as he grips the handles and his face is hidden from Sam's view, but his voice is gruff and laced with emotion when he speaks and it tells Sam exactly what Cas is feeling._

_"When Dean died, he took Robin with him." Cas says harshly, pulling on his helmet roughly. "And no matter how much anyone may want or how much anyone may try, you can't bring back the dead."_

_He revs the engine without another word and the motorcycle roars to life before he takes off down the Batcave's exit, nothing but gravel and dust left in his wake. Sam chases after him for a moment, stopping once he realizes its a lost cause and Cas is long gone._

__

_"I didn't mean-- Cas." Sam hangs his head and sighs. He's just trying to help. His dad needs it._

_"Don't take it to heart, kid. Sometimes Cas is as stubborn as John is. They at least have that in common. Consider this a win. You've got them working together again. That means something." Bobby tells him. The older man steps over to Sam and puts a hand on Sam's shoulder to console him, but Sam just shakes his head. It's not enough._

_"But Batman doesn't need Nightwing. He needs a Robin."_

_And maybe now that's who he needs to be._

 

\------

 

"Sam? Yoo-hoo. Anybody in there?" Jess waves a hand in front of Sam's face to get his attention in the booth that she and Sam are currently sitting in at the local pizza place they settled on going to for their date. 

"Huh?" he mumbles as he looks up from the menu he's apparently been staring at for... seven minutes now. Wow. Sam furrows his brows and blinks a few times to refocus then looks up at Jess apologetically and more than little sheepish. 

"You zoned out on me there for a second. Thought I was going to have to send in search and rescue." she jokes with a sweet grin.

"I'm sorry, Jess. I was just... thinking."

"Well then. Don't strain yourself, champ." she retorts easily. 

The words are sarcastic but her smile is warm and her eyes are sparkling with amusement. Jess's eyes always sparkle somehow. If he ever told that to Cas he'd probably tilt his head and ask how it is a person's eyes can physically sparkle. Which, okay yeah, they can't, not unless it''s due to some radioactive chemical or magic, but leave it to Cas to always be a literal. If he said something like that to Dean, why that's even a thought he has no idea, but he would probably just roll his eyes and call him a fucking sap. Not that it's not true. He does get pretty sappy, but he can't help it, not when it comes to Jess anyway. 

She ducks her head a little to meet Sam's gaze and rests her hand on his. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I just... Cas and I ran into an old uh... friend earlier." And isn't that an understatement. Sam isn't even sure if 'friend' is necessarily the right word to use in regards to describing Dean. Cas seems to think it is, but Sam's dad, on the other hand, thinks Dean is dangerous. Although, seeing as Dean has blown up multiple meth labs and killed quite a few criminals within the span of the past few months, John might just have a point there.

"That sure sounds ambiguous." she replies easily, lips pursed as she sits back in her seat. Sam huffs and nods in agreement, not missing the irony. Dean is like the definition of ambiguous these days. 

“So this friend...” Jess prompts. She waves a hand for Sam to go on and expand. Sam subtly swallows and attempts to choose his words carefully. Jess still doesn't know that he used to be Batman's third sidekick before he left and decided to fly solo. She also has no idea how Sam spends his nights patrolling the streets of Gotham under the guise of his vigilante alias, Red Robin. 

“Friend is sort of a stretch. I actually don't know him all that well, but I've known of him for a long time now. He's sort of been like a shadow looming over me ever since I came to Gotham and met my real dad for the first time.” Sam confesses. 

Sam remembers it like it was yesterday, and not seven years ago, when he found out who his dad was and ran away to meet him. It was surprisingly easy to commandeer a credit card and purchase a ticket to the U.S. from the Campbell compound where he had been raised since birth with his mother's side of the family. 

Thanks to his mom's files, he already knew that John Winchester was Batman and that his former Robin, Castiel Novak, was Nightwing who was working out of Gotham's sister city, Bludhaven. Sam also knew that the last Robin, Dean Winchester, was also John's adopted son and had died only a year prior. Everything he needed to know was in the files he'd stolen from his mother and it was only a matter of time until John suggested that Sam take up the mantle of Robin. 

“Shadow?” Jess questions softly, eye brow raised. 

“Everyone kind of thought he was gone for a long time, but he's back for good now and Cas and my dad are each handling it... in their own way.” Sam says delicately. 

“In their own way, huh? That sounds like a nice way of saying they're both handling it like shit.” Jess supplies and Sam represses a chuckle. Jess has barely met Cas and John more than a handful of times and yet it's like she knows them. Sam shrugs and nods, lips twitching up into a smile at Jess's bluntness. She always knows how to see through his crap, right to the root of what's going on. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” he admits. It isn't as though his dad has a track record with dealing with things very well. It took a few weeks for him to even work up the nerve to ask Sam about his mom, Mary, and how she was doing. He and Cas also still have a very strained relationship since Castiel quit. In fact, Sam and John have the same kind of relationship these days.

“And how are you handling it?” Jess asks sincerely and Sam shrugs and picks at the leftover fries from the basket set in between the both of them.

“Like I said, I didn't really know him. We've only spoken a few times, at most.”

“But your dad... and Castiel... they did and he's technically your stepbrother, isn't he?”

Sam nods at that. Technically, she's right. He should know this by now though. Jess is almost always right. “I guess so.” 

“So? How are you taking his coming back? Have you tried getting to know him?”

“Well, my dad doesn't really approve of his... lifestyle?” Sam cringes on the last word. How does one tell their girlfriend that his stepbrother is a murderous vigilante who was killed and then brought back by some unknown variable?

“Lifestyle? Is he gay?” 

“What? No. I don't think... maybe? He's sort of got a reputation with the ladies though but....” But the way he and Cas look at each other really makes Sam wonder sometimes. Not that he'd care if Dean was gay, exact opposite actually. There was also a guy at a bar Sam hit a month or so ago, dark brown hair and blue eyes, who was talking about a man named Dean who gave him the best night of his life. Coincidence? “Either way, dad doesn't approve of Dean's life choices and whether he's gay or not is probably the least of them.”

“What about you? What do you think about his life choices?” Jess tilts her head a little and rests her chin on her hands as she waits. 

“I think... he's got good reason for being the way he his.” Sam says after a long moment of thought. It isn't as if it isn't true. What Dean's doing is wrong, but Sam can't blame him entirely for all of it. Who knows, maybe Sam himself would be doing the same exact thing if he had been murdered and then brought back only to be healed through the Lazarus pit. Maybe being killed would open up his eyes to how Dean thinks and why he does the things he does. Maybe he'd believe the same thing as Dean does.  
  
One thing is for sure, Sam may not approve of Dean's methods but he knows better than to write Dean off as just some run of the mill psychopath murderer, the way his father often does. Just because Dean kills criminals, doesn't mean he does so without prejudice. There is always a reason behind it, usually a good one, unlike all the other criminals that Batman has ever had to face. To Sam, that's just one thing that separates Dean from the rest of them. 

“Hm.”

“What?” Sam frowns, reaching up to see if he has any ketchup on his mouth or in his hair or something gross like that but Jess just chuckles and reaches out to push his hand away from his face.

“You're a really good person, you know that?” Sam shakes his head and shrugs it off, but Jess doesn't pay any mind to Sam's bashfulness. “Maybe you should talk to him?”

“Who? My dad? Right, like he'll listen to me.” Sam scoffs at the very thought.

“No. This Dean you've been talking about.” Jess corrects and Sam frowns.

“And say what?” He can't exactly see Dean reacting well to a heart to heart between them, at all.

“I don't know. Maybe tell him everyone will be as understanding as you are with time?”

“Maybe.” Sam mutters quietly. He doesn't think Cas is the one who would have any trouble forgiving Dean. John is a completely different story. He feels Jess's hand on his cheek again and he looks up to meet her eyes. He smiles softly at her and reaches out to cup her cheek. “What would I do without you?”

“Oh. I don't know. Crash and burn?” she retorts with a grin. She leans forward to press her lips to Sam's and he smiles happily against them. He pulls his wallet out shortly after that and pays for dinner before walking Jess back home with a renewed sense of purpose. Jess always has that effect on him.


End file.
